Some of you seem to have forgotten that we are in the middle of National Magnetic Ersatz Ribbon Decade.

If you do not have a magnetic ersatz ribbon on your car, you are not a Patriot. When I see a car with no magnets on the back, I think, "That driver clearly does not SUPPORT OUR TROOPS, nor does he or she want GOD to BLESS OUR TROOPS."

If your God existed, he would definitely read your car magnets. I mean, after working so hard all day, shifting tectonic plates (to kill thousands of innocents) and altering sporting event outcomes (to bring fleeting joy to gambling degenerates and millionaire athletes), who wouldn't want to relax afterward with some light car magnet reading?

You should put a magnet on your car and send your message to him loud and clear!

If you do not have a magnetic ersatz ribbon dealer nearby, feel free to Print Out one of my own designs and Tape It to your car:



At 10/19/2005 3:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


Thank you for your Unsolicited Product Endorsement. We do all we can to "keep kids off the pole"(R). It is nice to be recognized for that fact on your venerable "Web-Log."


At 10/19/2005 6:10 PM, Blogger Brillig said...

Wonderful sentiment, but why stop there? Why not equally hate those people who have the fish on their cars (and by that I mean to include the Darwin fish also). I mean WTF, is it that important that you advertise what beliefs you have? Do you people with the Calvin-pissing stickers really think you’re clever? How about those assholes with the “My child is an honor student…” stickers? Those fuckers think the world either needs to know or thinks we care…bastards.
Regardless, it seems that cars are good places for personal advertisement, which is why I am putting my car up as add space. That’s right if you need to advertise your shitty views without the hassle of taking up valuable space on your own car then drop me a line. For a small monthly fee you can feel comfortable knowing that someone out there is sharing your personal feelings without it having to be plastered to your own car. A small sticker will be placed on the back of my car that says, "Any views expressed by the preceding bumper sticker expresses the views of the paying advertiser and not that of the driver. Please direct any concerns or questions to them."

At 10/19/2005 9:31 PM, Blogger Dr. Gori said...

BRILLIG, I agree with everything that you and your slithy toves have to say.

Let me be the first to offer you payment--in exchange for attaching real fish (TILAPIA) to your car. That's what a true believer would do.

I will cover both the fish cost and the advertising cost.

At 10/20/2005 10:30 AM, Blogger Brillig said...

I can't believe you got the refference! No one has ever gotten the brillig-thing. Good for you.

P.S. Sorry I copy pasted my comment but honestly what are the odds. Hey, yours was at least grammer checked!

At 10/20/2005 2:46 PM, Blogger Dr. Gori said...

I don't know about this reference you're talking about. I just know that on my home planet, every family had a few slimy, lithe, badgerlike, lizardish, corkscrewy toves around the house. They were pretty cool. And you remind me of the kind of guy who might have such creatures as pets.

At 11/12/2005 10:35 PM, Anonymous Jake King said...

Haha. Dude, that's hilarious. I appreciate good humor sometimes. "Heaven is for Americans." What a true and profound statement. I couldn't have said it any better. Mmm Hmm. Indeed dear Watson.


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