I do have a few human acquaintances. The other day, I was talking with my friends Juwanda, Chamique, Tyrese, and Jamal. Eventually, I brought up the topic of race--specifically, the role of African-Americans in modern USA society. Unfortunately, none of us knows any Black People, so the conversation kind of stalled out. But ever since, I've been doing a lot of thinking about the subject of Race Relations (or R.R.).

Here is my conclusion: There are many problems.

But I know how to solve this issue of having many problems. People of different races must have unprotected sex together, so all of you ugly humans can at least start looking uniformly ugly and break down racial barriers.

I've heard it said that, when dealing with interracial sex, you must think globally and act locally. So I want you to act locally. If you are an Anglo Woman, I would like you to go into a Black neighborhood and have sex with the Black Men there until you become pregnant. If you are a virile Latino Man, you need to do the right thing; go into Chinatown right now and make babies inside all the Asian Girls.

As the years pass, the Blanglo children will grow up and breed with the Latisians. All humans will become one race, and your world's problems will disappear! Assuming, of course, that you also disband every major religion.


At 10/13/2005 2:55 PM, Blogger Cap'n Mandril said...

I have been blogsurfing for oh, about two minutes now, and yours is the best one I have seen. You are very smart and i wish you all the best.
Keep up the good work.
Cap'n Mandril

At 10/13/2005 9:03 PM, Blogger Dr. Gori said...

Thanks Cap'n. Mine is the best. But it's not really fair. My planet's had computers for, like, hundreds of years. However, you may not kiss me.
Doc'r Gori

At 10/14/2005 3:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


I have acted upon both your posts by impregnating a Southern Baptist/Methodist/Episcopalian with distant Jewish heritage. I, a GODLESS INFIDEL, will assist in creating the master race of grey-skinned agnostics. Victory is nigh!


At 10/14/2005 4:37 PM, Blogger Dr. Gori said...

Whoa, earthling NOAH. That's some fast work! Impressive enough that you found such a woman so quickly. But to have found one who is ovulating, too? Remarkable.

If life were like a movie, I would stand up now and clap for you very slowly, until those around me begin to clap in the same rhythm. Music from somewhere would build to a crescendo, as even those who were originally our enemies earlier in the movie start clapping. And the clapping gets faster. And then everyone is clapping and cheering and hugging.

...And everybody's so busy celebrating, that nobody notices me as I pull out a nondescript black box with a flashing red button, which has some writing under it in my planet's native language (by some weird coincidence, it's English) that reads, "KILL HUMANS."

Good movie, no?


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