Lately, all I can think about is an elephant. Like, all the time. It's beginning to interfere with my dating life.

So I went to amazon.com (which I found by searching for "amazon.com" at Google) and looked for some help. There, I found a book by George The Human called Don't Think of an Elephant. I bought it immediately, using your credit card number. THANK YOU FOR VISITING THIS SITE AND LETTING ME STEAL YOUR IDENTITY, WHICH INCLUDES YOUR CREDIT CARD NUMBER.

I used Super Saver Shipping and received the book 5-7 business days later. I read it right away.

Here's the thing that made me angry at earth all over again...

The book was not about elephants! It was about politics in THE USA. Specifically, it was about how the Democrats are well-meaning-but-stupid cowards who don't know how to (or are afraid to) Frame The Issues, so they keep losing to the douche bag Republicans. The book made some good points, but it will probably never reach its target market, because of the misleading title.

I would have called it Frame the Issues, or the Douche Bags Will Win Again!

I have concluded that there is a small group of Republicans who are the Smartest People in THE USA. And this small group of the Smartest People is very good at convincing the much larger group of the Dumbest People in THE SAME COUNTRY to vote Republican, as well.

The Smartest People vote Republican because it benefits their for-profit corporations. They then trick the Dumbest People into voting Republican by scaring them with stories about Gay Democrats Having Abortions (or G.D.H.A.).

It is a brilliant tactic.

But here is how Democrats can Re-Frame The Issue. They must tell THE USA PEOPLE, "Hey you guys, we are totally not gay. Fetuses are. And they want to get married." That will help get votes back from the people who think gay marriage is even scarier than abortion.

THIS IS A LINK to the book that promises to rid you of your Elephant Thoughts, but really does not deliver. Zero Stars!


At 10/17/2005 1:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would argue that not all Fetuses are gay, but only the ones getting aborted.

The fact that the parents decided to abort is a sign from God that their Fetus is gay (non-gay Fetus parents do not have this vision), and would have wanted to get married. To avert a future gay marriage apocalypse God is telling us the abortions were necessary.

The fact that abortions have increased since this Bush has become the leader of the USA is a clear sign that though public opinion may be against it currently, imaginary God's plan is at work.


At 10/17/2005 3:09 PM, Blogger Dr. Gori said...

Karas, you are wise. Sometimes it doesn't seem fair that I was the son of a rich intergalactic senator, and you were raised in intergalactic poverty. Had we both been born into families of equivalent socioeconomic status, odds are that you would be the doctor and I the faithful assistant. Fortunately, that did not happen.


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